Snow!!!!!!!!

Weatherman says we're due for about a foot of snow.  I say bring it on!  I'm ready.  Who am I kidding.  It's going to be a lonely ass weekend when I'm stuck alone in my apartment.  It will be a long weekend of movies, gaming and surfing the internet.  That plan could go down the pipes super fast if the cable gets knocked out.  Man would that suck.  Then I'd be stuck with reading one of the dozens of books sitting on the shelf.  I suppose that wouldn't be so bad.  I do have a lot of really good books I've been meaning to read.  Meh, one day.

I'm glad it's finally the weekend.  This week has been all kinds of crazy.  I've been training with one of the "engineers" at work in the past few weeks and consequently stopped working on all the side projects that my boss had me working on.  Well that kinda backfired.  This week my boss asked for updates on all those research and development projects that he assigned to me.  Apparently he expects me to be able to train AND conjure up results on all these r&d projects.  He's not much of a realist.  On top of that, Terry (the guy I'm training with) is catching wind of my plans to work in Germany.  He doesn't know exactly whats going on, but he has been saying all week that he knows something is going on and that he's going to get "fucked."  As of January, he is supposed to begin his retirement plan by moving to 3-day weeks.  He's pretty sure that won't happen.  Somehow he can sense that the company is going to dick him over and ask him to stay on full time.  I feel pretty terrible because I know that by going to Germany I'm basically fucking up his retirement.  There's no way that I can turn down this opportunity though.  I can't pass this up, no way.  I'm going.....Sorry Terry.

Aside from being busy at work, I heard from my old roommates that the realtor is trying to make us pay for January and February because we didn't tell them that we weren't renewing the lease. That's pretty messed up.  The original lease that we signed didn't have a renewal option checked off.  We signed a new lease when we changed roommates 1 year into the lease.  Well that one had the "Lease will automatically renew unless tenant provides 60 days written notice to landlord" option checked off.  Fucking con artists.  They changed the terms of the lease.  I'm mostly mad that I didn't catch it earlier, but I'm still pretty mad that they want money that they really don't deserve.  The owner of the house called us a while back and asked if we were renewing and we informed her that we were NOT renewing.  She didn't say anything about it so we assumed we were OK.  Then someone got a call from the realtor.  Con artists I tell you.  The owner actually went to the house today with a realtor and put the house back on the market.  I wasn't there (because I moved out and I was at work anyway) but my roommate Karyn told me that the owner didn't say anything about the extra two months and that we might be off the hook.  Well she and I both agreed that until someone starts asking for that money we're keeping our mouths shut.

In other news, rockandsnow.com awarded me $25 for all the climbing gear purchases that I've made this year.  Sweet!  They are a really great climbing store in New Paltz, NY.  They also have a website that allows for online shopping and they ship super fast.  Maybe it's because they're in NY and I'm in PA, but I swear they send me an email on the day I make my purchase saying that "your item(s) have shipped."  Before I know it there's a package at my door and I'm super happy with my new gear.  So I think they're great.  I'll probably use the $25 to get carabiners or something.  A few more never biners on your harness never hurts.

Speaking of climbing and online-purchases, I just bought a really cool Osprey travel backpack from moosejaw.  Check it out.  They are another company that I LOVE ordering gear from.  I can't wait to spend all the reward points I've accumulated.


Until something more exciting happens, wood signing off.

Auf Wiedersehen

I have officially moved into my new apartment.  With the help of my parents, my brother and a friend, we were able to move everything in one day.  It was a long day, but I'm glad we got it finished because it's pretty nasty out today.  I went out this morning to pick up some food a few other things.  It's pretty miserable outside.  I should be more excited about being in my own apartment.  I don't have to worry about the headache's that come with having roommates (four actually).  I have all the privacy and freedom one could ask for.  It kinda sucks that I won't be here for very long though.

My boss called me into his office on Friday.  He more or less started off by asking "You're single, right?"  I'm thinking to myself 'yeah, what of it?'  After responding "yes" my boss goes on to tell me about a product design team that is being assembled for the development of a new product and how he would like me to be a part of it.  Then he proceeds to tell me that I would need to move to Germany for 12-18 months.  WHOAH!!!  My first thought was 'I can't go to Germany, is this guy nuts? I just got a new apartment.'  Then he tells me that the company would pay for an apartment in Germany, the early termination fee for my newly signed-for apartment here, and of course all the travel expenses.  Not only that, but my salary would increase.  After calling a few people I calmed down a little bit and decides that this is an amazing opportunity.  A free ride to Germany for over a year!  I'd be close to tons of mountains.  Most notably would be the Dolomites. 

I'm pretty hype about the whole trip.  Now I just have to sit here and wait until it's time to leave.  It probably won't be until the end of January or early February.  Between now and then I have to figure out a few things.  First, what I'm going to do with all my stuff.  Most likely a big ass storage unit.  Second, I'll have to learn to speak German mighty fast.  I don't want the locals trying to pull one over on me.

Black Temptations

I have discovered that days off from work are just as amazing as days off from school.  I had off from work this Thursday and Friday and I absolutely loved it.  The timing couldn't be more perfect.  My mind was overloaded with the outrageous ideas that my boss comes up with.  I began my Thanksgiving holiday by carbo-loading for the alumni 5k race that my high school cross country team hosts every year.  Last year I came to the race 9 months out of any kind of running and got my ass handed to me by a 40-something year old coach.  That had crossed the line.  When you get spanked by someone twice your age, it's time to start training again.  So this year I made sure that I at least had some basic mileage under my belt before showing up.  The miles certainly paid off.  I ran a respectable race and got to see some friends.  Overall it was a good morning.  (We ran at 9:30AM)

Sean (my brother), Matt and I after the race.

Afterward, I went to my aunt's house to have dinner with the family.  As usual, not all the cousins were there.  Some were at their wives'/girlfriends' houses instead.  We still had a good time exchanging stories and making fun of my grandmother and aunt for having a few too many drinks. My grandmother insisted that all the grandchildren (myself, my brother and my cousins) wash all the dishes from the meal, even though my aunt (the host) repeatedly told us that we didn't have to do that.  It was all going in a dishwasher anyway.  We got a good laugh out of listening to her though.

Oh Black Friday.  I don't remember ever going shopping on Black Friday.  It's not because of the whole "mob" of people that you have to battle through or the traffic that you have to dodge just to make it to the mall.  I just never felt the need to go shopping.  I shop when I need something, not just when there's a HUGE sale going on.  As it stands, I actually did need some things this year but moving into a new apartment has me saving wherever I can.  That said, I went to Walmart on Friday.  What?  I needed groceries.  After staring down this mp3 player for a good 20 minutes, going to get my food, and then coming back for another look at the music box, I left Walmart with nothing more than a car load of food.  I escaped Walmart without buying any electronics!  It was pretty tough, but I'm quite proud of my self-control.  My headphones still hate me for neglecting them though.

Pancakes vs Waffles

I was on my way to work this morning listening to Preston and Steve on WMMR talk about the difference between pancake batter and waffle batter. Steve, Preston, and Nick were all convinced that it was the same stuff. Casey was about to have a caniption trying to convince everyone that waffles taste and smell different. The bickering was put to rest when a chef called in to set them straight. Aparently the only difference is that waffles include more egg and some oil. Go figure. While they were on the topic of breakfast, one of the hosts mentioned that he makes hot chocolate for his kids in the morning. So one morning he grabs the cocoa packets, makes them their hot chocolate and notices that the box says "Pick-Me-Up Hot Chocolate." Hmmm, that sounds like some bangin' hot chocolate. So what's in it you might ask? CAFFEINE!!!!! "With as much caffeine as a cup of coffee." So needless to say, his kids were bouncing off the walls that day. His wife failed to notice the caffeine part when she bought this hot chocolate. Bad move mom, bad move. Anyway, this whole converstation was pretty funny and made my morning drive a whole lot better, even though I got stuck in traffic because of some accident that happened in front of me.

Oh yeah, and here is a picture of my climbing shoes sticking to the wall all by themselves. These things are magic, I swear.

Fantastic Friction

This weekend I went bouldering at Haycock with a bunch of friends. I made some new friends as well. The day was perfect for climbing. The cool fall air makes the friction on the rock amazing. The weather was great too. No wind, plenty of sun and NO RAIN. Beautiful fall day. We went to the Hanger 18 side of Haycock, which doesn't see as much traffic. We pretty much had the area to ourselves. With a little bit of hiking, we managed to get on some really cool problems. Probably the most memorable was 3 Star. I could be wrong, but I think it was a V4 R. You follow this crack line up 25' or so and top out. I nearly bit it when I stood up too far and my foot slipped. It was a sweet problem though and we had it really well protected. I think our 8+ crashpads and spotters had it covered. Tsunami had a really cool top out as well, after you get passed the crimps of course. Of course there was a sweet sloper problem that was a lot of fun.

Sunday I went to the gym with a friend for some top-rope climbing. We were both feeling kinda beat we roped up anyway and had a lot of fun together. What a weekend! Thankfully I have a 3 day work week leading up to Thanksgiving. I can't wait for all the turkey and stuffing I can handle!

Night Runner

It's official! I got the apartment. I pay the security deposit on Thursday. I'm still thinking about the layout in my mind. I've mentally purchased the pieces of furniture I'll need. Talking to the property owner of the other apartment wasn't all that bad. She tried to offer me a 1BR but I turned her down when she told me it was still nearly $200 more than the one I'm now signing for. So that's taken care of. Now I need to start getting electric and cable under my name.

Ever since I stopped running track/xc in the middle of my junior year in college I've been trying to keep some sort of a training schedule. I didn't run at all during my senior year but instead turned my focus toward climbing. Since graduating I've made an effort to bring running back into my daily routine. I'm not looking to race at the same caliber as I did in college but I still want to stay in good shape and run an occasional road race. Recently I've been trying to get back in shape for the alumni 5k race that my high school cross country team hosts every thanksgiving. SO,.... I was out for a run on Sunday and I felt absolutely horrible. My legs felt heavy and I had zero energy. My body just did not want to move. I managed to log about 4 miles before calling it a day. Last night however, I was feeling way better. I was back on my regular pace and logged 6 miles. I was starving the whole way though. Every house I passed by emitted a different aroma that made me more and more hungry. I swear I recognized the smell of burgers at one house and then steak at another. Somewhere in there I KNOW I smelled mashed potatoes with butter and garlic. Not everything my nose picked up smelled appetizing. A sudden whiff of garbage inspired me to speed up a couple times. I didn't have any potatoes in the house, but I still whipped together a pretty solid dinner to feed my appetite. I didn't smell anyone's cooking tonight but I did have a great run. Another six mile night with a sweet new look when I finished.

Train Track Tumbler

I came across this clip yesterday and it really amazed me. Some woman from Boston falls onto the train tracks and lives. How stupid do you have to be to fall onto the train tracks?! She's all over that yellow line that you're NOT supposed to stand on. (Strike 1) The train is coming, you can hear it coming from a half-mile away. You don't need to stick your head out there to check. Talk about some horrible balance too. That fall looked mad awkward. Then she starts flopping around like a fish on land but never makes an attempt to get up. Did she think she could fit under the train without getting mashed up? That doesn't even work in the movies. Luckily the train operator saw all the people waiving their arms and was able to yank the e-brake in time. Check it out.


I'm pretty psyched about moving into my new (prospective) apartment. I'm already planning the layout in my mind. At some point today I'm going to have to deal with the property manager of the first place I applied to. I have to break it to her that I won't be signing for that place. She might be a little pissed at me.

Apartment Hunters

The end of our lease on the house is getting closer and closer. We officially get the boot on December 31st. In lieu of that, the past few weeks have been dedicated to apartment hunting and boy did it get interesting. My roommate and I looked at a few places before applying to one. To make a long story short, I got approved and he didn't. The following week I contacted the property manager and asked her to allow the two of us to move in the apartment since I was approved. After an email and few phone calls, we got the green light. Later that day my roommate tells me that he cannot afford the apartment. I asked if he could afford a cheaper apartment and he said that the only way he could afford an apartment is if he gets one of the 3 or 4 jobs he "applied" to, one of which is in Maine. He goes on to tell me that if he doesn't get one of those jobs then he's going to move back home with his parents. So basically there's a pretty good chance that I'm going to get boned if we move in together. At that point I decided it best to start looking for 1-bedroom apartments. I found one right here in Media going for $675 with heat and hot water included. This weekend I went to check it out. It's got plenty of room for me, it's in a cool neighborhood and it's close to my friends. I'm sold. I should hear back on Monday or Tuesday about approval. With any luck I'll be moving in by December 12th!


Oh and those Evolv's I was talking about.....The right foot fits pretty well but the heel on the left foot is terrible. I've got no control on heel-hooks; my heel keeps sliding around. I'm considering buying a second, smaller pair for my left foot. I can't decide whether to downsize a full-size or half-size though. I'm not sure it's worth the gamble. Any thoughts?

Daylight Whatings?

Ever since I becoming old enough that trick-or-treating felt awkward, I've lost interest in the holiday. Halloween has since become a time to go out and party in wild costumes and issues girls a slut pass for the weekend. Instead of searching for some party I elected to go to a climbing competition at my local gym, PRG They a had a pretty solid field of competitors last night. Matt Bosley was there along with PRG's own Rob D'Anastasio. Both of them got beat out by Vasya Vorotnikov. He sent all three problems and flashed two I believe. Pretty wild.

So what got into the Eagles this weekend? They wouldn't let up on the Giants at all. I like how Any Reid put Jackson in on a kick-return right before the half was going to end just to see if he could run up the score. Gotta love that.

Just about everyone I know is probably going nuts about the World Series right now. I honestly don't care. Baseball just doesn't do it for me, sorry guys.

Today I ordered a pair of Optimus's from Evolv on a close-out deal. I couldn't pass up $59 for a sweet pair of climbing shoes! My friend Dustin let me try his Optimus Primes (the velcro version) and they are amazing. $59 is basically half of normal cost so I had to nab them. I'll write a review after I climb in them for a bit.

I totally forgot about daylight savings until I went to turn the Eagles game on today and it wasn't on for another hour. I was already up and moving around 10 (9 for those of you who turned their clocks back) to go for a run. Normally I would be mad about not taking advantage of the extra hour of sleep, but I was already plenty rested. Oh well, now to get ready to take on another week at the office. Sigh. I'd rather be climbing.

Scruff McGruff

So if I ask you for your opinion about something, doesn't that mean I want to hear your opinion? I ran into this issue yesterday when I asked a few friends, whose opinions I value, whether or not I should grow a beard. No one gave me a straight answer! "I don't know" doesn't answer my friggin' question. Come on people! I'm looking for a definitive answer here!

With no help from my phone-a-friend, I elected to shave it off. I figure that a scraggly looking beard says one of two things; Either you don't care what you look like/what other people think or you're trying to prove that you can grow facial hair. Not quite the image I'm looking for. On the other extreme, I could go buy a mach 27 and (without cutting myself) make my face smoother than.... well I've got nothing to put here, but really really smooth. That sounds like a lot of work and I'm not sure I want my face glimmer when the sun hits it, although I wouldn't have to wear a watch to reflect the sun in your eyes. So those two options are out. The last option is more or less to let the 5 o'clock shadow grow out a bit and trim it when it gets too long. Basically the "scruff" look. Just enough wild man without giving off the "bum" vibe. I'm down for that.

Monday Discoveries

Last week I discovered, again, how expensive it is to eat out everyday for lunch. Ten dollars at Wawa each day adds up! So I finally decided to go food shopping this weekend and stock up on quick and easy meals that I can bring with me to work. I grabbed a bunch of soups and instant rice/noodle dishes. Along the way I decided to try this new "Chow Mein." It's by the same people who make Ramen noodles. Stick with Ramen noodles. This chow mein stuff is not special. The sauce is a little thicker, but that's about it. Save your money.

I made another food related discovery this morning when I left my pop-tarts in the toaster for too long. The sugar from the icing began to burn. The pop-tart was not too enjoyable to say the least.

So maybe those food choices were sub-par, but at least I bought plenty of fruits and yogurt. Yeah that's right, yogurt. It's good stuff, look into it.

On another note, why is "House" cancelled tonight? Instead they're playing "So you think you can dance." Come on FOX. Honestly, what were you thinking here. Your dance show has its own timeslot. Don't fuck with House's. Now I have to settle for Monday night football. Go Birds!

Kiss My Budget!

"This is the best presentation I've seen here in a very long time." - the BIG guy

So the presentation went really well. I'm told that he NEVER makes compliments like that. He came to my desk later in the afternoon to congratulate me again. He even went as far as to have my supervisor write me an official letter saying how good it was. Are you serious? It was a presentation. It was OK by my standards but not great. I stumbled my words once or twice. Either way, I got my budget approved and I was relieved to have the presentation out of the way. It turned out to be an even better day when a bunch of the guys at work decided to order pizza for lunch. The pizza was over 25 minutes late so we ended up getting the pizza for free. EVEN BETTER!!!

How good is getting stuff in the mail, even though you bought it. My new tent came in the mail the other day and since I had nothing better to do last night I decided to set it up in my room. The best part is that it actually fits in my room. The tent is really cool though. I can't wait to use it when I go backpacking on the AT in a few weeks.

Rain sucks. It needs to stop so I can go climbing.

D-Day

I got fed up trying to schedule that presentation at work, so the other day I told my boss that since everything revolves around his schedule that he should schedule the meeting. I didn't phrase it exactly like that, but it was fairly close. There was definitely a glimmer of "fuck you" in the way I said it to him. He agreed to schedule it though (1 point for me!). So the big day is tomorrow at 7:45AM. Yes, 7:45AM. The guy is in meetings ALL day tomorrow. I do not envy him. Today I realized that if everything goes to hell tomorrow morning, this presentation has the potential to ruin an entire Friday since it is so early in the morning. How crappy is that? I better make some plans for tomorrow night so I have something to look forward to.

Going a bit off topic, my new tent came in the mail today! I bought it from Moosejaw. They are a really great company. They sell mostly backpacking, climbing, and general outdoor clothing and gear. Their customer service is terrific, the rewards program rocks and I love getting their emails with sayings like

"If you order something and get the free $21 Gift Card and then return the something but don't return the Gift Card we'll deduct $21 from your credit. Sorry for being so mean about it."

You gotta love that. These people are so down to earth. Everyone should go check out their website and buy lots of stuff from them.

Ode to Media

This weekend was a good reminder of why I love living in Media, PA. Friday night I went to Joclyn's to see my favorite band, Jealousy Curve, play. They have a new album coming out in a few weeks and everyone should pre-order it. The best part about Joclyn's is that it is within walking distance of my house. Today my roommate and I went to our favorite hippie coffee shop, Seven Stones. It is also within walking distance. On the way there we watched a squirrel jump out of the bushes and ricochet off of a parking meter. I felt bad for the squirrel but I couldn't help but laugh at the expense of its stupidity. Or maybe it was retarded.

So often I'm not home during the weekends that I forget how great it is to live in such a fun town. One of my roommates and I intend to get an apartment when our lease on the house is up. I think we'll stay in Media.

However, I need to find some outdoor climbing in the area. Hopefully some nice bouldering. Who wants to go boulder hunting with me? It would be nice to find a moderate area to climb close to home. Most of the good outdoor climbing takes an hour or more to get to. I don't mind making the drive generally, but it can be hard to find a partner that is willing to go. If I could find something closer to home, I wouldn't mind going by myself.

Doomed

I have a presentation that I've spent most of this week getting ready for. Today I had just finished working out my script when my boss comes up behind me and asks if I'm going to send him my slides so he can "be prepared" for my presentation next week. He has asked me twice already, so this time I had to comply. I figured if I could avoid sending him my slides until the day before the presentation he wouldn't have enough time to dissect it and rip me a new orifice next week. So much for that idea.

So not only does he have my slides, but my script is written on the notes pages attached to each slide. FML. Now he's got everything. I am naked. Doomed. SOL. Up shit creek without a paddle. I feel like I've been getting ready for battle. I gathered up all the weapons and ammunition I could find and I came up with a killer strategy. Well all that went down the shitter when a spy leaked my plan to the enemy. I have been exposed. Great! I can't wait to see how big my new orifice is. Should I bring a white flag?



On a different note, this morning I got up to go to work as normal. I have my coffee in one hand, wallet and cell in my pockets, rain jacket on (its raining)..... I'm good. Let's go. One step outside and I realize that I have both locked the door and forgotten my keys. That's swell. Luckily I had my cell phone with me so I could at least text my roommate to open the door instead of banging on it and waking everyone up. I still felt pretty dumb but I had to laugh. What a great way to start the day.

The Time Has Come

The time has come folks. It is finally here. WE CAN ALL WEAR SLIPPERS!!!!! Yeah, my house is finally cold enough to the point where I can justify wearing slippers. They are awesome. I have the moccasin type with plaid fleece on the inside. Stylin! My roommate attempted to turn the heat on yesterday with an epic fail close behind. It let off this terrible smell and set off the smoke/carbon monoxide detector. Well bag that idea. I'll just strut my stuff around the house in long johns for the winter. I've got enough to worry about with the R2D2 virus going around. CO poisoning can stay the heck away.

Spin Those Wheels!

Does anyone ever feel like they are always working against their colleagues? I mean really working against them. I'm talking about the people who are supposed to back you up and be there as a resource and give you direction. Yeah those people are worthless. My supervisor at work is one of them. I got tossed into a bunch of projects that no one seems to want to be a part of, not even my supervisor. I get the sense that someone has tried to do what I'm doing now and has been shut down by the boss. So they're all gonna let me spin my wheels just to watch me get owned by the big guy during presentation day. Fuck you guys.

I came up with a pretty solid plan that the guys all like and I've worked out all the expenditures and managed to make it look rather appealing. So now that I'm putting my proposal presentation together I find out that my supervisor doesn't have my back. She told me it's too expensive. Really? She knew what I intended to ask for because I kept her updated every step of the way. If you were worried about the plan being too expensive then why didn't you give me a budget when we started the damn thing?! So now that my plan is 'expensive' she thinks it's a bad idea. To hell with you. Strap on a set and ask the boss for money.

Bilingual Much?

So I've recently had the urge to become fluent an another language, or two. I'm debating between Spanish and French. I have a solid base of Spanish from taking it in high school for 4 years. It would be fairly beneficial in the states since it's spoken ALL over Cali as well as many others. French on the other hand, is commonly spoken in the northeast and in Canada; popular climbing areas. If at some point I travel overseas, likely to Europe (for more fun climbing), I'm thinking that knowing French would be a bit more useful. Plus French sounds way cooler, and sexier. So I have to decide which Rosetta Stone package to get.

Metabolism or Hard Work?

I've been a toothpick for my whole life. I don't really have a way around it, I've tried. There's the lifting + protein plan. Yeah I tried that, not my thing. It didn't work anyway. Then there's the eat everything and get fat plan. Yeah.... that doesn't work. However, I am leaving one part out. I've been a runner for 10 years. I don't compete anymore like I did in college, but I still run 5 miles a day to stay in shape. I also fell in love with rock climbing a little over 2 years ago. I climb twice a week after work and usually again over the weekend. I'm also giving yoga a fair amount of time. So what I'm trying to say is yeah, I'm a skinny guy. At the same time though, I lead a crazy active lifestyle and I'm not going to stop. Even with graduating and starting my first REAL job I've managed to find time and balance for all the things I love. So to all you folks out there that love to tell me "oh you're still young, enjoy it while it lasts," I'll send you guys a postcard of my six pack when I'm 50 years old, running 5k's, climbing 1,000ft mountains and shredding powder on the slopes.

Traffic, how I hate thee

Why do they have a traffic report during the 6 o'clock news? If you're watching, then you know what the traffic is like because you just spent the last 45 minutes in gridlock trying to get home from work. You don't need someone to give you the replay. You just got out of that shit! Yes, I have road rage. So do you, don't deny it.

Sucker for a lemon

My car died on me the other week. It straight up and quit on me. All power cut out for about 10 seconds before coming back on. Now my car is in the shop and the mechanic is telling me that the warranty company won't cover the repair(thus far). He still hasn't found the route of the problem which means that the bill could get even higher. I'm hoping that it gets high enough to total the car. My insurance would waive any further payments on that car and allow me to finance a new car. I hope they total my car out before the repair bill gets too high but not high enough to total it. I seriously want to take this car back to the dealer and set it ablaze in the black of night. That would surely bring me some satisfaction.

All for nothing, nothing at all

Maybe it's just a coincidence but I'm convinced that I have the worst timing in the world when it comes to girls. I have this tendency to chase after girls that are either unhappy in their current relationship or mentally unavailable. By the latter I mean that they are either single yet do not wish to be in a relationship or their attention is taken by some other guy. I know what you're all thinking. "You should have seen the signs, she clearly wasn't interested." Fuck you, I saw the signs. I'm just too damn stubborn to let go of what I want. Besides, I'm up for a challenge. Who am I kidding. My timing just sucks.

Student Loan Sharks

Student loans are for suckers! Sadly I am one of said suckers. My parents weren't able to offer any substantial help in paying for my college tuition, so my solution resided in good ole student loans. I took out one student loan per year to pay for tuition, room and board. I just graduated this May and already my loans + interest total $80,000. Yeah, I'm pretty pissed about it. I'm paying them off all on my own, so basically life is going to suck for the next 20 years. In the very least it will be fairly tight unless I get a salary increase in a few years or take on a new job that pays better. We'll see which one comes first. I've considered fleeing the country. Unfortunately I'd probably have to get my passport to make it through customs, therefore guaranteeing that I'll get caught. Fucking government.

Frugal my ass

I am the worst when it comes to saving money. I have this tendency to develop really long mental lists of things that I want. Most of them have to do with rock climbing or various other outdoor endeavors. However, when I finally have a bit of money that doesn't need to go to bills right away.... BAM!!!!! That shit is gone. Since getting paid last Friday I have purchased cams, biners, climbing shoes, a guitar and an amp. I'm hoping that since I went on this 'shopping spree' that I'll have it out of my system for a while and be able to start saving. I have this strange feeling that it won't happen that way because my gear list keeps building all the time. Damn having hobbies!

Obama's right, get over it.

Is the American society really this stupid or do we just like bashing our President? Obama gave a speech to students all over the world today. His general message was that students are responsible for their education and that they ought to work hard in school. "At the end of the day, we can have the most dedicated teachers, the most supportive parents and the best schools in the world, and none of it will matter unless all of you fulfill your responsibilities." Pretty good message to send to students right? Yet parents complain that they don't want their children to hear such things and that students should be able to decide for themselves what they want to do. Oh yeah? So school is optional? I must have missed the memo. Education is virtually a requirement by most parents. So are you saying that 'doing well' in school is optional. Gee I missed that memo too. The last time I checked, you don't go to school to do shitty. You want your children to succeed in school. You want them to succeed in life. So why are parents saying this? If you ask me, America just likes to pick fights with their president and insist that they know better than him. Yeah, right people.

Common! He made a great point. We could supply the best teachers in the world but it doesn't mean squat if the students don't want to learn. Ever try to show an old guy a 'new' way to do something? Ever try to show your grandparents how to use email? Exactly, they don't want to learn. That is the case with too many students today.

I agree with O 100% Students need to take responsibility for their education and honestly apply themselves in the classrooms. That is the only way that education is going to work.

So begins reality

Being out of school for a few months now, reality is settling in. All those loans I took out for school? Yeah they want their money. I also need to start looking for a new place to live starting in January. Anyone need a roommate? In all honesty I'm doing pretty well. I've got plans to get a place with a college friend of mine who also climbs and shares a lot of my ideals. We get along well. My job allows me plenty of time to climb at night and on weekends. I've been successfully getting to the gym twice a week and usually climbing outside one day of the weekend. The only thing I need now is a girfriend that climbs. That's a tall order but I'm certainly working on it.

Changes

The new job is going well thus far. I certainly have a lot to learn though. It seems like I'll be doing a bit of self teaching in a few areas. I'm glad to have job security though given the economic situation.

I like that my job is so close to the rock gym; now I can go right after work. It gives me some motivation to get in the gym and step up my climbing. Now that school is out of the way I'll be able to climb more on weekends too. (outside as much as possible)

Music

Music has been a love of mine for so long. It relaxes me, it motivates me, it just makes me happy. I would really like to learn how to play an instrument, particularly the guitar. Above all other instruments, it is the one that speaks to me the most. I think that is mostly because of the type of music I listen to and the appreciation I have for the talent of some guitarists. I'm going to give it a shot.

Today's Tomorrow

Graduation is coming closer and closer. Soon enough I'll be completely on my own. Paying my own health insurance, car insurance, rent, you name it. I'm so ready. A lot of my friends say that they don't want college to be over. They claim they aren't ready for the real world. I am. I've always thrived on being independent. This is just the next step for me. I'm excited to hold a real (engineering job) and then do whatever I want on the weekends (climb) without having to worry about homework or studying for a test. The real world is coming and I say bring it!

Hollow

Some days I feel like my mind is analyzing at Mach 3. In just 30 seconds I've already come up with 8 different ways that my day tomorrow could pan out. It's ridiculous how fast my mind works. It makes meditating extremely difficult some days. Today I had to stop in the middle of meditating because I couldn't stay focused. I kept on thinking about tomorrow. So I stopped and just let my mind do its business while laying on my bed. When I felt like the bulk of it was over, I began to meditate again and had a bit more luck this time. Some days I just need a re-do.

Mind's Eye

I had a great day today. The first thing I did today when I left the house this morning was go to "Bryn Mawr Running Co." They are a running store that I grew up buying my running shoes from in Bryn Mawr. Well not too long ago they opened a store in Media. HOW CONVENIENT! I have been living in Media the past year with some friends while attending college. So today I decided that I wanted to check out their new store, as I was in need of a new pair of running shoes. I ended up getting a great pair of shoes that my orthotics fit into very nicely. This can be an issue as my orthotics are often wider that the sole of the shoe. Then I went for a nice 3 mile run in them. They felt great right out of the box. (you can do that without the break-in period when you wear orthotics) My day continued to be great and lead to an amazing meditation today. At first I focused on my breathing as usual. I got myself to a point where I am breathing so softly, yet deeply, that I couldn't even feel the air passing through my nose. I felt so calm. Later in the meditation I began to focus on resting my eyes. You know how you can let your eyes get unfocused? Well I did that while my eyes were shut. I felt as if it gave me focus and really enhanced my calm. I also found it as a great way to bring myself back when I've drifted into a thought. What an incredible day!

The Unconscious

I'm having lots of trouble focusing this week. I've been letting myself get really worked up about stupid stuff, such as my roommates not including me in basically anything. Anyhow, I initially tried to focus on my breathing. I was still losing focus, so I tried something else. I tried to see with my eyes closed. I wasn't trying to see anything in my room but rather the light passing directly through my eyelids. I attempted to make out any shapes that were there. As I did, I noticed that my mind started generating random thoughts, phrases and memories that had no relevance to anything. Nothing that happened today. It seemed as if there were no trigger to the thoughts, they just came naturally. I'm not sure how to interpret it. I didn't feel stressed at all so I don't see it as a negative experience. I don't know what to think of it.

Worth the Effort

I almost want to say that today's meditation was not even worth the effort I put into it. I was all over the place. Three different songs began playing in my head, all I could see was the climbing wall at school and I repeatedly played back things that people have said to me today. However, I will not believe that today's meditation was not worth the effort. It may not be a success by my standards, but it wasn't for nothing either. It is going to take me some time to truly harness my subconscious. I will just have to try again tomorrow and hope for better results.

Moving Forward

I am really happy to be moving my meditation time up to 10 minutes. 5 just didn't seem long enough to really gain control. When I did, time was practically up. I am ready for the challenge. I am ready to dedicate 10 whole minutes to sitting peacefully.

Think Away

My shoulder has really been bothering me the past week or two. I'm pretty sure I aggravated it climbing. It's given me problems before I was a climber, but it seems to have gotten a bit worse. Anyhow, I decided to focus today's session on my right shoulder. I imagined all the pain being sucked out of it as I inhaled and pushed out of my body as I exhaled. I tried to imagine my shoulder getting better with each breath. Clearly that won't actually work, I'm too much of a realist to believe in something like that. It was fun to imagine though.

Race

During my meditation today I started thinking about when I ran track. I want to pick up running again. I won't necessarily compete for a team, but I would like to get back into the shape I was when I was racing. I might enter unattached to some races eventually. We'll see. I definitely want to run though. I've got the itch!

Here and There

I tried to imagine myself meditating outside. I still focused on my breathing, but imagined doing so in a field somewhere in the mountains. It's a place where I feel most at home. I want meditation to be more than simply controlling my breathing. If I have something else that I can focus on, it'll will be worlds easier to avoid any stressful thoughts.

Unfulfilled

I come out of today's meditation feeling like something is lacking. I still have some issues blocking out all my thoughts, but that's not a big issue. I feel as if there is something deeper that I could be feeling when meditating. I have always imagined meditation as a time when your mind travels to a different world and can even give you insight. That is what I want. How do I get that?

Pressure Drop

I used the same technique that I did yesterday in focusing on my breath. Today I really tried to focus on the sensation of cool air entering my nose and hitting the back of my throat. Also very cool was the feeling of releasing the pressure build up from inhaling before even exhaling. Normally when you exhale (when focusing on breathing), the tendency is to push the air out. Instead, I sort of released the pressure and let the air flow freely on its own.

Air Flow

Today I observed my breathing in a different way. When inhaling, I imagined air flowing into my nose and pausing at the back of my throat before exhaling and traveling down through my chest and ending in my stomach. I guess it traveled there because that is where the 'hara' is said to be; nearly behind the belly-button. My focus was very strong in the beginning and began to falter only slightly at the end of my meditation. It lasted 8 minutes though.

Forgive and be thankful

As usual I began my meditation by focusing on my breath. Gradually I transitioned to acknowledging all the things that bothered me or worried me today and excused them. I let them pass so that I could move on. To end my session in a more positive light I revisited all the good things that happened to me today. To no surprise, the good holds more weight than the bad. Today I am happy to forgive the events that hindered my mood but relished in my thankfulness for those events that shone brighter than the sun.

Tired

I should really quit meditating when I'm tired. I can't get around it though. Meditating right before bed is generally the only time that I am home and not doing something. I'll have to make time closer to when I get home. My focus is slowing improving, but its my awareness that is making good progress. Initially my mind would wonder in all directions and I would not even know it. Now it is easier to realize that I am drifting and that I need to re-focus. Yeah progress!

"Nothing" is too much

So even when you are thinking of "nothing" the mind is still thinking of something. My focus was a bit better today. Only very simple thoughts came to mind, not so frequently and only came to visit just to say hi. Actually it was like a recap of my day. Not so bad. More focus to come!

Nothing Explored

Sometimes I wonder if it is physically possible to think of nothing. What exactly is nothing? Is it darkness? But that would be something. If I thought of darkness I would think of caves and then wilderness and then Bear Grylls. No, it can't be darkness. Trying to think of nothing is pretty damn difficult. There it is! My mistake. In trying to think of nothing, I am thinking of nothing. I am trying to imagine nothing. My task is to generate no thoughts at all. This is going to be much more difficult.

Without Religion

I have been so for several years now. I do not believe in any supernatural. For that reason I don't think I will be able to fully believe in one's 'hara.' That being said, I still believe that there is a purpose and a reward for meditation. It is a way of clearing the mind and relieving it of the many worries of each day. With these thoughts in mind, I will continue to meditate. I will free myself of worry even if it is only for a short time each day.

Climbing on the brain!

I could not stop myself from thinking about climbing while meditating today. I just got back from the Winter Burn. It took all day, so all I could think about was climbing when I got home. I even knew I was thinking about climbing but could do nothing to change it. Just one of those days. Tomorrow will be better I'm sure.

A Little Slip

I tried to think solely about my breathing and finding my hara today. While I still cannot feel my hara, I can focus on my breathing. I could feel myself blocking out any thoughts trying to enter my mind. Then I slipped up and realized I was thinking about Mountain Leadership School in New Hampshire. I quickly realized it and refocused. I'm gettin there.

Not Too Shabby

It's been two weeks now and I'm very satisfied with the progress that I've made. In the coming weeks I hope to be able to feel my hara better. That will be my main focus in the sessions ahead.

Take In Life

I really enjoyed today's session. It seems kind of funny because earlier this evening I did not feel like meditating and thought about skipping it. It was then that I told myself that I wasn't going to be lazy, that I was committed. So after watching some of Dosage IV (a climbing movie) I decided to meditate. Today I envisioned myself breathing in life and relieving myself of all my worries upon releasing my breath. Today just felt great.

More to Learn

I simply couldn't gain control today. My thoughts overpowered me during my first attempt, so I took a break and came back later to try again. This time I was a bit more successful and was able to block out a good portion of thoughts. There is much more that I stand to learn though. I hope to gain greater control as I continue to learn more about meditation.

The Breath

I had a small infiltration of thoughts early in today's session but was able to recognize them and let them pass. From there I continued to focus on a mantra that I developed. Mentally, I say "What is this ball of consciousness?" on the inhalation and "Hara" on my exhale. This really helps me gain focus and control. From there I can really pay attention to my breath and my breathing becomes naturally deep and calm.

Hara

Today I tried to focus on my breathing and finding my hara. I felt it only very slightly, but it gave me greater focus. I was able to concentrate on my breathing without the overflow of abstract thoughts coming to mind. I think today was very successful and will help lead to greater control of the mind.

More or Less

In the past few days that I've been meditating I have found that it lasted much longer than 5 minutes. Today's meditation however, only lasted about 6. That being said, less thoughts were passing through my mind. I was able to focus on keeping a clear mind and dismissing any thought that threatened my mental silence.

Does This Count?

Tonight I am very tired and still attempted a meditation. While still very relaxing, I feel more tired than anything else. I really should try to do this in the middle of the day sometime. Work seems to get in the way usually. Today's meditation might not be perfect, but I will do better tomorrow.

Not Quite

Maybe I'm expecting too much too soon. I still feel like I'm not in full control of my thoughts. Then again, that is what I am supposed to be learning, so I can't simply expect to naturally have that ability. I could definitely use a bit of guidance. I need something to focus on. Often when I try to meditate my mind wanders to find something that feels reasonable to focus on. In searching for that focal point, my mind is processing and analyzing. Meditation should be a time to give my brain a rest from operating at high speeds. I need to develop a plan before beginning to meditate so that I do not waste any time/effort into thinking about it while meditating.

Take Two

For the past week, I've been meditating while laying down on my bed. While very comfortable, this probably is not the best suited position for meditation. Today I meditated in the normal fashion, sitting up cross-legged. At first, I had an incredible amount of thoughts flowing through my mind. Before I knew it, I had exhausted my 5 minutes. I was not satisfied though. I had never gained any kind of control over my thoughts. So I gave it another go. This time I was able to focus better and relieve my mind of the many thoughts so recently present. This was a good meditation. I look forward to meditating tomorrow.

Nature's Own

Today's meditation was very cool. I took Kathryn's idea of separating past and present with the two flowing rivers. Being an avid outdoors man, I imagined myself hiking up a fairly prestigious mountain. The ground I covered represents the events of my past. Not once however, do I turn back to look down the mountain. There is no past. There is only the present. There is only now.

As I progress toward the peak, the terrain becomes more difficult, but I am ready to tackle the mountain. My pack is full of all the right tools. The peak is covered in snow and more is trickling down through the tree line.

I have not yet made it to the top, but I know on the other side lies what will become my present. My present, not my future. The future cannot be predicted, but I am ready to live the present. Live the moment.

Too Close

I've come to the conclusion that I am meditating too close to my going to sleep. I could not even begin to talk about my meditation today because I don't remember any of it. I honestly think I fell asleep for my 5 minutes or more. I'll try meditating around lunch tomorrow. That way there will be less risk of falling asleep.

Just a tough one

Today's meditation was very challenging. Faces of dozens of people would rush into sight, one at a time but only for an instant. I did not recognize any of the faces, they meant nothing to me. I have no idea where they came from. Possibly compilations of facial features that stick out to me. Who knows.

I need to find a method that works for me, something I can go back to again and again. I have trouble deciding which method to use. Today I must have tried a half dozen different ways to meditate and couldn't fall into relaxation. I even got frustrated with all the noise occurring around me.

It wasn't until I began repeating a phrase that I finally felt some relief.

"Fear nothing, defy your boundaries."

A quote I came up with during high school. During my meditation, I felt my mouth begin to open very very slowly. I could not have opened my mouth at this rate if I had tried. It was then that I knew I was beginning to fully relax, because the muscles holding my mouth in its previous position were giving way.

Not a bad session after all. Just a tough one.

No Go

While todays attempt at meditating was very relaxing, I was unable to flush out all my thoughts. I could still feel them rushing in here and there. I was able to slow it down though and intermittently think of nothing. I'll continue to try and hold onto this 'thoughtless' state longer next time, and even longer after that.

If nothing else, these sessions are surly relaxing. While I cannot yet block out all thoughts, the thoughts that do come are not ones of worry or stress. Rather they are just random thoughts. I am happy.

Ho Hum

Nothing special today. Very very few thoughts came to mind during this session. Sometimes I don't know whether to let my mind wander and picture odd things like looking at myself from the outside or whether to force away all thoughts altogether. Todays session was a mix of the two.

I still enjoyed it!

Square One

The journey begins. My first day toward developing the use of meditation is very much welcomed. I have no 'set in stone' method to meditating thus far, hence I am open to ideas. In the past I have attempted to slow my breathing while relaxing each and every body part, one at a time. We used to do it in track. I remember one time that I had imagined myself floating several feet below the track. Very cool feelings.

Anyhow, as I began to meditate today, I discovered that I had an itch on my left eye. Then my left ear, my nose, my right shoulder, and my right pectoral. While these may not be your typical results, I was nonetheless happy with them. I was becoming aware of how each part of my body was feeling, while not thinking of anything else.

So however obscure this session may have been, it was a peaceful and successful one.